I have been engaged for exactly three days shy of one year. By the time Ryan and I get married, we will have been engaged for over 14 months. We chose a long engagement to give ourselves a head-start on finding a house and to be able to enjoy the months before we signed away our lives to each other on legalized documentation. It has been an enjoyable time for me especially, since I have been actually been planning this wedding for about 5 years now through the wonderful world of Pinterest and television shows such as Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings. I have found that a planner and The Knot have also been my besties this past year in keeping me in line of the fancy shmancy wedding etiquette of the modern day. Along side my said besties, my mother and a handful of others have put countless amounts of time, effort, and money into helping me with my needs and wants to make this wedding the most beautiful day of my life; however, there have been a few advice-givers along this journey of love-planning that have not been so much helpful as they have been, to be nicely put, a little off-putting. Out of many things that I have heard, a few stick out like a sore thumb in my mind, and I know others feel the same who have been in down the same path as I:
1. The "Relax and Enjoy" Speech; This, I have heard all too often and every time I hear someone utter the words I want to scream. These would be helpful words of wisdom if they weren't painfully obvious. As children we can't wait to be adults and do the things that adults do. Well, I know what I am signing up for to an extent, and I don't need someone to tell me that I don't need to "rush this time". It might be a little different if I were 18 or 19 years old and rushing through a 6 month engagement- but I'm 23 years old now and will be on the verge of 24 when our wedding day arrives. So I know a little bit about being single. Not to mention, etiquette and prices have changed since these women had their weddings 20+ years ago. It is expensive and very time consuming.. Not saying that it wasn't before- but I am fairly sure that standards have risen higher than ever for the modern day bride and the pressure is on. So think before you give any woman who is tying to knot some cliche advice.
2. "That will be Awkward" Guests; This is a comment that realllly gets under my skin. It is a comment made when someone you have invited to your wedding dislikes someone else you have invited. I get hot under the collar when someone says "oh, you're inviting (so-and-so)? That is going to be so awkward! I mean, it is your wedding though, I guess..." SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! You didn't just say that to me. I'm dreaming right? Many things are wrong with that statement. Basically, you are giving me permission in a passive-aggressive manner. "Well, it's your wedding so you can do what you want." Can I just say, duhhh. Weddings are parties, not high school lunch period. They are about sharing the most important, happiest day of your lives with your family and friends. So what if you have qualms with someone that I happen to be fond of? That is your business and I want no part of it. If you don't like someone, stay clear of them. The church is plenty big for the two of you and no one is forcing you to speak to one another. The bride and the groom have too much on the brain as it is and your personal vendetta against a friend of either party is irrelevant. Basically #getreal and #getoverit.
3. Pushy Aquaintances; Those people who you aren't really that close to who tell you every time they see you "I better get an invite!" You know what I know about these people? They say they want an invitation, but they really just want to be invited, they don't actually care about going, and if they do go, it's for the food and entertainment. They don't care about being there for you. It's a free party! They want to be seen, heard, stuffed full of the food you paid for, and entertained. Note to my brides: the nicest and easiest way to let these moochers down easily is to tell them that your venue is full or your budget can't handle any extra guests, but that you are sowwy.
4. The Budgeteer Says So; Okay, so my mom is paying for my wedding, and I am so very thankful for that because if I tried to pay for it myself, we'd be in the courthouse with a couple of witnesses and Vegas-worthy outfits to match. Afterwards we'd split a bottle of cheap wine and delicious hot pockets (had to throw that in because that is all Ryan eats. lol)! The thing that sucks about someone else paying for your wedding, is that they have more say-so than you do... especially when it comes to the guest list. I love my crazy family, even the ones I don't like to admit that I'm related to... but when the person helping you out suggests people as guests that you don't really care to invite, you really feel the pressure. The loud, obnoxious people you usually just see at family reunions suddenly haunt your dreams as you think of the embarrassment they will bring to your happy day or the outrage you will feel if they are too loud or too crazy. All you can do then is just pray that they will take their meds the morning before and maybe a tranq. before the ceremony. *fingers crossed*
